(Agape Love–Part Three Number 9 in a series of posts Ramblings from your Grandparents)
Agape Love–Part Three
Grandpa has counseled many troubled people through the years (more than I know about because he never betrays a confidence). I know he has helped many to work through their problems and to choose to do it “God’s way.” That is getting increasingly harder to do because young people today (and some oldsters, too) believe they have a right to happiness at the expense of everyone else, children included, and will not seek help or try to keep their marriage intact.
Happiness Comes from Doing Right
Young’uns, if after marrying you are tempted to “chuck it all” we hope you’ll remember this bit of grandparental advice: you will have a hard time finding peace and contentment over the trampled bodies and spirits of those around you. And happiness? Well, happiness comes from doing right. It is not something we search for, but a natural product of our obedience to God. Not the “ha, ha” kind of happiness, but the deep inner peace that comes from a clear conscience before our Creator.
Why do People Marry?
Why do people marry? Did you answer, because they are in love? Well, that’s what we assume. We believe there are many reasons why people marry, most of them not so very noble:
- Because of a fleeting infatuation….
- Because all their friends are getting married….
- Because they want the glamour of a wedding….
- Because they are in love with the idea of being married….
- Because they want to be loved….
- Because they want to “get even” with their parents….
- Because they want to escape a troubled home….
- Because they don’t want to disappoint their parents….
- Because they are afraid they’ll never have another chance….
- Because they’re jealous of a friend who’s marrying….
- Because they’ve already engaged in sexual acts &/or are living together and think its the decent thing to do….
- Because their sexual drives are strong and they want gratification….
- Because they have a baby on the way…
- Because he’s so handsome or she’s so beautiful….
- Because he or she has a promising future or perhaps already has a lot of earthly things….
- Because they love each other (or think they do)….
- Because not only are they very comfortable and attracted to each other, but they have the same goals, priorities, and desire to serve God together…
- Because they believe they can serve God together effectively and that is one of their highest wishes.
Here are some questions your might ask when contemplating saying “I do.”
- Do I really LIKE this person?
- Do I TRUST this person?
- If I marry this person will I have to compromise my doctrinal beliefs to be a good mate?
- Does this person love God and want to serve Him at the same level of intensity that I do?
- Does this person have mannerisms or character traits that embarrass me or anger me that I will find hard to live with in time to come? (It is often the little things that rip a marriage apart)
- Am I willing to cleave to this person for the rest of my life?
- Will I be happy to have our children stay with their other grandparents and be under their influence?
- Are my loving parents, family and friends happy about this person being in my life?
- Do my “instincts” give me a “GO” or a “STOP”
This is far from an inclusive list, but Grandpa and I have seen many young people ignore some of these basic questions only to regret it very much in years to come. We cannot emphasize enough the importance of choosing a mate who loves the Lord with the same intensity that you do, who understands the Scripture as you do, who has a moldable, humble heart before our great God.
(To be continued)